dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
