that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
