Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
