TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
