I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
