No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
