Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
