Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
