I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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