He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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