It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
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Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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