Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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