Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
