let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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