Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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