Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
