Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
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