Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
