I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
