I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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