He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
