i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
