He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
