im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
