honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
