I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think a kid would responsible me up
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
