my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
