i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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