problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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