Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
