you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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