He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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