My room smells like vodka and shame
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just pee around me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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