break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
