You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
