Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
