We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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