Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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