Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
