Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
