btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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