Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
