are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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