i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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