I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
