do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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