So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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