You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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