When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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