The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
