apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.