Duck Duck Cougar?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?