Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?