Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
