Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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