im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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