i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
