so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
