i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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