drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize