Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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