Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
