Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
