It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
