Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize