yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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