so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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